Having a couple relationship is for most of the people the place where their feelings are more involved. An unhappy relationship is associated with dissatisfaction, anger and doubt. It is also part of the couple relationship an intense communication about feelings.
Mixed couples could make the experience that some of their conflicts are part of the different cultural perspectives they have. Conflicts are experienced as unresolved problems. Usually one partner expects that the other changes his/her behavior and/or attitude. Only then the other is also ready for changes.
In most of the cases couples are trapped in a “container of feeling”. They keep for themselves their feelings and opinions until they “explode” taking everything out. Hence, the solution they first thought could solve their problems becomes in the problem. Paradoxically this is the best motivation for starting a therapy. When couples are ready to say “Help us to get out of here” they have already taken the first step to solve their problems.
* According to von Schlippe and Schweitzer
Constellation: What is important in our relationship